Tuesday, September 30, 2008

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS FIGURE?!

In yet-another wave of new Star Wars figures, we get WIOSLEA.

"WHO?!"

Yeah, that's what I said, too... right after, "What the fuck is that?! Really, Lucas? Really?"

So, I looked "Wioslea" up on google which led me to "Wookieepedia" which is apparently a "wikipedia" just for Star Wars crap.

Here's what I learned, besides the fact that Wioslea apparently does indeed exist:
Wioslea lived on Tatooine and wore simple robes very similar to a Jedi Knight's. She was once even accused of being a Jedi.

She bought Luke Skywalker's X-34 landspeeder for Spaceport Speeders, a local Mos Eisley company that bought and sold landspeeders and other vehicles. In order to finance the negotiated upfront fee for passage aboard the Millennium Falcon, Obi-Wan Kenobi used a Jedi mind trick to persuade Wioslea into paying 2,000 credits for the speeder, much more than it was worth.[1]

Seven months after the Battle of Yavin, Wioslea sold a landspeeder to Senior Anthropologist Mammon Hoole.

Wioslea was also a gambler. Due to outstanding gambling debts, at the time of Jabba Desilijic Tiure's death, she owed him 1,000 credits. Wioslea was also able to speak many languages, including Bocce, Jawaese and the Talz language.

I don't buy it... sounds like post-movie bullshit to sell more toys and books. Any true diehard Star Wars fans reading this? Can I get some clarification on this?

8 comments:

Frank Gillespie said...

Are there any true diehard Star Wars fans left?

Jim said...

There are rumors of some still alive out there. They've been in hiding, ever since Lucas went to the Dark Side, betrayed them and began hunting them down.

Andrew Glazebrook said...

My rule is if it ain't in the movie then who really cares who the background characters are ? This alien buys Luke's speeder and that's all we need to know ! It seems anybody no matter how obscure is given a figure now and a background.

Anonymous said...

my only question is



THATS A CHICK Oo

great ,
guess wihen we got SaraJessicaParker
playing JARJAR in "menace"
it wasnt

BAD En0uGh

now we got lucas giving us another useless charecter with even less history . . .

Anonymous said...

I consider myself a die-hard Star Wars fan. I feel like right now, in the world of Star Wars, things are going to be very kid-oriented for a while until the live action show comes out.

It reminds me of that time period after Return of the Jedi came out and there was "Droids", "Ewoks", and even those made for TV movies about the Ewoks.

On the plus side, I'm excited chicks at conventions now have another hot costume to wear other than the over done Slave Leia.

Fraser Lovatt said...

I'm going to hate myself for saying this but:

A blaster *AND* a lightsabre? Isn't that against the rules?

Anonymous said...

Can you say....Bag over the head?
How about a half dozen heavy duty leaf bags....for an hour...tied tight!

Unknown said...

I love how 2008 this is even tho y'all being ignorant of shit that's been going on since 1991 😂 Talmbout "post-movie bullshit" mf it's a multimedia franchise. That one dude prequel-bashing is also so dated haha like just you wait buddy. But fr diehard Star Wars fans always fucked with the prequels except for the few who took issue with their revision of Boba Fett's origin which I'm guessing y'all aren't, because the prequels are an authentic part of the franchise created by the maker George Lucas himself. Wait until 2015 to see what betraying the fans actually looks like.